Emily's Blog

Oh well

Adam and Emily — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:09:14 +0000

I just finished writing the longest blog I've ever written, it was a book! and then right at the very end, Alistair jumped up on my lap and the computer and I lost it all. AHH!! Oh well....we moved....that's the update....more to come. We now live in the country with a donkey named Crystal and we're living with our friends Jason and Cara. 5 times in 3 years. I am officially a pro at moving!

Just a thought

Adam and Emily — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:51:35 +0000

Adam and I are slowly getting used to being kidless again. I don't think I've totally processed and mourned the fact that the kids aren't living with us. It's weird going from feeling old and being a parent and having everything you do revolve around the fact that you have kids and then suddenly, bam be 25, free and kidless again. I do think it will be a slow mourning process. Life stays busy and we don't see the kids as much as we would like. I even sometimes forget what it feels like to have someone so dependent on you. I think about what's going to happen to the kids, who's going to tuck them into bed or rub their back when they don't feel well. I wonder what they'll remember about us, what our house was like for them, did we teach them anything, did we love them enough. It's those random moments though that make me miss them, that makes my heart ache, that makes me have that crazy mom feeling of wanting to protect them so badly that I feel like I can do anything.

Haylee came over the other day to see my sister and brother while they were here. It felt so weird and so normal for her to be running around the living room. Later when she had to go back to her foster home, we all piled into the car to go drop her off. She was so cute. She was talking in her Haylee way and her mouth was covered with chocolate and cookie crumbs from earlier. As I was thinking about her and Doug and what if anything they would remember about our year together she grabbed my hand in her sticky little fingers and squeezed, one, two, three squeezes. She looked and me and whispered, "do you remember what that means?" I nodded and squeezed her hand back. It was everything I could do to not break down and bawl. I don't remember when exactly but I do remember telling the kids that if I squeezed their hand three times, it meant "I love you." I know it's such a little thing, but I felt my heart overflow. So maybe I wasn't the most structured parent, maybe I wasn't as patient as I would have liked, maybe we didn't focus on homework as much as we should, but my little girl knows that I love her. I pray that wherever Doug and Haylee are that they will always know and feel our love for them.

Coffee

Adam and Emily — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:39:14 +0000

It is very fitting that my first blog be about coffee as I am writing this in a coffee shop. I LOVE IT! Get me a tall, extra extra hot, caramel sauce latte from Starbucks and we'll be friends for life. It is my love language. Two big things happened in the small town of Albany Oregon this week. Boccherini's closed and Charlie's Rhythm and Brews opened. Now this would not seem like a big deal for those of you who live in big cities like Chicago, but for us way out here in Albany, it's a big deal. Boccherini's is a small coffee shop downtown Albany that has been there forever, it's a big part of Albany and it's a block and a half down from where we live. I stopped in to get coffee for the last time this morning. It was packed. I walked in as one of the old ladies (there's a group of 5 or 6 little old ladies who meet every morning for coffee) was reaching over the counter, both hands were on the owner's face and was weeping as she said her goodbyes. After church Adam and I decided to go try the new Charlie's Rhythm and Brews. I don't like it. It feels very cluttered and disorganized and I knew right away that I wouldn't like the coffee because they only had caramel syrup and not caramel sauce. I guess maybe I'm becoming small town in my not liking change. We walked in and the two girls behind the counter looked like high school maybe early college age. I ordered a Chi just to be safe and Adam ordered a cappuccino. After a few minutes one of the girls walked over to our table with one coffee cup. My Chi. She started to mumble something and as it turns out neither of the girls know how to steam milk. So Adam goes over to the counter, walks behind the counter and starts to steam his own milk as the girls are huddled behind him learning how to make a cappuccino and giggling nervously. It was very funny. All of that to say, We'll miss you Boccherini's, thanks for feeding my addiction these last two years. From now on though I think I'll stick to the drive through Starbucks where I'm guaranteed my tall, extra hot, caramel sauce latte!